When we look behind the curtain at our unique individual histories, for many of us but especially for the common people-pleaser, we learnt somewhere along the way of living that it was not okay to express how we actually felt.

Gender euphoria can be defined by the positive and affirming feelings of joy, comfort, and satisfaction you experience when you see your body aligning with your internal perceptions of your gender. 

Perhaps the goal is not to become perfectly secure, endlessly self-sufficient, or untouched by vulnerability. Perhaps it is simply to develop the capacity to remain present enough to let ourselves be known, little by little, within relationships that feel safe enough to hold us there.

This is where somatic sexology and sexological bodywork come in. These approaches apply somatic principles specifically to intimacy, relationships, sexuality, pleasure, boundaries, and embodiment. Rather than focusing only on thoughts, communication strategies, or sexual “performance,” they help people begin understanding how their nervous system and body are participating in experiences of connection, vulnerability, touch, desire, arousal, shutdown, consent, and pleasure.

Mazzing, flicking the bean, rubbing one out, shucking the corn, whatever you call it, masturbation is one of the most widely misunderstood parts of sexuality and sexual health. It’s one of the most wonderful parts of being human, and it’s also rife with stigma and misinformation that consistently get in the way of better intimacy, pleasure and relationships.

While some women notice little change, and others even experience increased desire, many find their sexual desire becomes unpredictable or even seems to disappear. Some experience discomfort during sex for the first time, or feel emotionally flat, irritable, or simply too tired to feel interested in intimacy.

What started as a small street parade organised by ‘Sydney’s Gay Solidarity Group’ in June 1978 has evolved into one of the most recognised and celebrated LGBTQIA+ pride parades in the world. 

So for Women’s Day, I wanted to take a look at the past century, to really acknowledge and pay respect to the women that came before us, that made it possible for me to be here today, writing about sex on the internet yet again, and safe and supported to do so.

Below is a brief look at some of the key milestones over the last century that helped shape women’s sexual liberation.

Whether casual or committed, it’s well-known that partners that talk openly about sex generally have better and more satisfying sex. It’s in talking about sex that the open lines of communication allow us to feel heard and safe with each other, which allows us to connect, play and self-express together. 

 The more comfortable we get talking about sex, including disclosing our sexual health information with others, the more we can normalise and de-shame this incredibly common experience. The more accurate information we have, the easier it becomes to dispel myths and misunderstandings about conditions such as herpes, which for many people is just a part of their everyday life. 

The reality is that many birthing bodies take many months or even years to recover, often with the need to involve pelvic floor physios, gynecologists, scar tissue remediation and massage specialists (especially if there was any tearing during delivery or delivery happened via cesarean).

Curious about sex during pregnancy? A qualified sex therapist busts myths, explains safety, libido changes, and how to support pleasure and intimacy.

From my perspective as a somatic practitioner, the best way to navigate the holidays, whether you’re surrounded by family or quiet at home, is to really up the self care, set firm boundaries in advance, and get comfortable with stepping away, saying “no” and doing unconventional things (like the tools in this guide) that are supportive for your body whenever and wherever, and in front of whoever you need.

“Curious about anal play? This trauma-informed guide from a sex therapist covers safety, consent, communication and pleasure for a positive first experience.”

Discover how to touch a penis with presence, connection, and confidence. This pleasure-based guide offers mindful techniques, consent practices, and full-body touch tips for deeper intimacy and embodied pleasure.

Learn how to touch a vulva with care, confidence, and consent. This trauma-informed guide offers expert tips for creating safe, pleasurable, and respectful intimate experiences.

Struggling with a partner who doesn’t share your kinks or fantasies? Learn how to navigate sexual mismatches with empathy and communication using a trauma-informed, therapist-approved approach.

It can feel edgy, raw and vulnerable to take up this space, to acknowledge this dimension of yourself and to have your partners see you in this new light. However, when we do choose to share and lean into these conversations, it can help us unlock new levels of intimacy, trust and open communication in our relationships. So how do we do it?

In this post I’m going to guide you through how to get started with kink/fantasy for yourself if you haven’t given much time or thought to it, using resources, how porn can be an ally in kinky exploration and how you can deep-dive into your fantasies to uncover hidden turn-ons.

We become more relational, more balanced and more interesting (in my opinion) when we explore and integrate our shadow, because we’re no longer controlled by things we’ve learned are “bad” or “shameful.”