“Curious about anal play? This trauma-informed guide from a sex therapist covers safety, consent, communication and pleasure for a positive first experience.”

Discover how to touch a penis with presence, connection, and confidence. This pleasure-based guide offers mindful techniques, consent practices, and full-body touch tips for deeper intimacy and embodied pleasure.

Learn how to touch a vulva with care, confidence, and consent. This trauma-informed guide offers expert tips for creating safe, pleasurable, and respectful intimate experiences.

Struggling with a partner who doesn’t share your kinks or fantasies? Learn how to navigate sexual mismatches with empathy and communication using a trauma-informed, therapist-approved approach.

It can feel edgy, raw and vulnerable to take up this space, to acknowledge this dimension of yourself and to have your partners see you in this new light. However, when we do choose to share and lean into these conversations, it can help us unlock new levels of intimacy, trust and open communication in our relationships. So how do we do it?

In this post I’m going to guide you through how to get started with kink/fantasy for yourself if you haven’t given much time or thought to it, using resources, how porn can be an ally in kinky exploration and how you can deep-dive into your fantasies to uncover hidden turn-ons.

We become more relational, more balanced and more interesting (in my opinion) when we explore and integrate our shadow, because we’re no longer controlled by things we’ve learned are “bad” or “shameful.”

There’s been a lot of conversation lately about kink in pop culture, especially in the wake of Sabrina Carpenter’s Man’s Best Friend album cover, and whether it’s empowering, degrading, feminist, or “just for the male gaze.” But the very fact that we're talking about it is exactly why this kind of representation matters, and how talking about kink forces us to get curious about our own internalized beliefs around kink and sexuality.

Discover expert tips on how to date with confidence and become a better lover. Learn how to connect emotionally, communicate effectively, and enhance intimacy for a fulfilling relationship.

Feeling overwhelmed by your schedule? 

It’s important to learn simple, intentional ways to turn toward pleasure every day, no matter how busy you are. Reconnecting with your body, joy, and sensuality is possible through small, yet powerful shifts.

Struggling with painful sex (dyspareunia), vaginismus, or fear of sex? Learn the causes of painful sex with a vulva, how to talk to your partner, and gentle tools for healing trauma, tension, and discomfort — from therapy-informed breathwork to partner practices.

The breath is present with us through all experiences of sex and relationships, and throughout all stages of the process, and yet we forget that it can truly be our greatest tool for connection, nervous system regulation, sexual function, pleasure, and pretty much all other aspects of how we connect safely and lovingly to our bodies.

One of the main reasons we get stuck in an "all effort, no ease" mindset is urgency, the pressure to change quickly and see immediate results. This urgency is especially strong when it comes to our sex lives or relationships, where we often feel desperate to “fix” things.

Healthy porn use is when it is incorporated with intentionality and choice, not as the default or as a total replacement for sexual pleasure.

Remember, desire comes in all shapes and sizes. You are not broken if you desire a lot of sex, and you are not broken if you desire little to no sex. Leaning into your body’s sexual cues and listening without judgement can lead to a whole lot of learning and exploration.

So now that we’ve broken down the difference between low desire and responsive desire in Part 1 of this blog, let’s explore how we can use this understanding to support more desire in our relationships going forward.

When someone feels they’re experiencing low desire, there is often a sense of hopelessness associated with this low, or lack of, desire that's being experienced. Though, when we actually get into the meat of the situation, I usually find that the person with self-described low/no desire is actually experiencing instead what is referred to as responsive desire.

Rejection is just as much part of the dating experience as the dating is, and let’s be real, rejection sucks, no matter who you are or how much you’ve worked on developing practices around self-soothing.

Amid the sea of dating apps and run clubs, dating looks very different these days. Many folks both in our sessions and outside of them, report being fatigued by dating apps and screens in favour of meeting new people in the wild and prioritising genuine, felt connection.

If you’ve ever struggled with low desire, you’re not alone. It’s a common experience, and the world is filled with advice on how to “fix” it. But what if we’re asking the wrong question? Instead of focusing on how to increase desire, consider this: how can you make the experience itself more pleasurable? This year, let’s shift our mindset and make pleasure the focal point of our intimate lives.