Firstly, What is An Orgasm?
An orgasm is an involuntary contraction of the vaginal wall, muscles in the penis, and anus, which may be experienced with a pleasurable 'release' sensation. Orgasm's can last anywhere from 10- 50 seconds. Research suggests that folks with vagina's have longer orgasms on average than a penis owner. An orgasm can feel like anything from neutral (no additional pleasure - kind of like a plateau) to an intense whole-body wave of pleasurable sensations.
Do you fake orgasms? If so, you're one of the 59% of those who identify as women and 25% of those who identify as men who do or have faked it.
What Does the Orgasm Research Tell Us About Human Behaviour and Orgasm
Did you know that 81.6% of vulva/vagina owners don’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone, and require external stimulation (or a combination of external and internal stimulation) to reach orgasm?
More interesting orgasm statistics relating to men* (we use a * with the word men as the research relates uses the identities men and women, although these statistics most likely associate men as those with a penis, and women as those with a vulva/vagina).
Men* take 5.4 minutes on average to orgasm during a partnered sexual encounter
Approximately 30% of men* will experience early ejaculation (this is very treatable). Early ejaculation is diagnostically defined as ejaculation in less than one minute from penetration
95% of heterosexual men* usually or always orgasm during partnered sexual encounters
89% of gay men* and 88% of bisexual men* reported usually or always having an orgasm during partnered sexual encounters
45% of men* have used a vibrator (or sex toy) during sexual encounters
25% of men* have faked an orgasm
More interesting orgasm statistics relating to women*:
81.6% of women* don't orgasm from intercourse alone
51-60% of women* orgasm during penetrative sex (penis, toy, fingers etc) with simultaneous external clitoral stimulation
Women* who receive oral sex during sexual encounters are 23% more likely to orgasm during sex than women* who never receive oral
92.4% of women* are able to orgasm from masturbation/solo touch
Women* take an average of 14 minutes during partnered sex to orgasm
Women* take an average of 8 minutes to orgasm during masturbation/solo touch.
Why People Fake Orgasms
In our experience, there are a number of reasons we can identify or people describe for having faked an orgasm.
Minimal (or no) pleasure-focused sex education which doesn't encourage or normalise self-exploration or understanding of pleasure, arousal and orgasm
Social and/or relational pressure to 'perform' pleasure and orgasm, even if we aren't feeling it
Feeling that there is something 'wrong' with us if we do not orgasm during a partnered encounter
Traditionally penis-centric focus of partnered sex means many of us view penetration as 'real' sex, which doesn't align with pleasure anatomy for many vulva-owners
Rushing erotic and sexual intimacy
A belief that we will hurt our partner(s) feelings if we don't orgasm
Feeling that we are taking 'too long'
Lack of confidence to share or communicate what we want, and what we know about how we orgasm
Fear of being judged if we haven't had our first orgasm yet
Feeling that it is expected to have an orgasm during each sexual encounter
Wanting the sexual encounter to end
Do any of these resonate with you? Stay tuned for our next blog post on why you should stop faking it, and practical tips on how you can increase your capacity for pleasure and talk to your partner(s) about your pleasure needs.